


Twitter may want to shutdown for a bit

by Nuleon



Category: Loki: Where Mischief Lies, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ;), Agender Character, Asexual Character, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, I do have a plan for this though, I don’t really know what else to tag, Jewish Pietro Maximoff, Jewish Wanda Maximoff, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki is 17, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Precious Peter Parker, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Science Bros, Social Media, Taggging as I go, The Author doesn’t know how to tag, There will be more characters, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Twitter, and it shows, but I feel like I should tag more, but he looks 17-20, hes still like 1000 years old, i have a platonic crush on Bruce banner, its the “Thor is technologically challenged” troupe, or write honestly, well no not really, yea, you shouldn’t really expect a plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27259402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuleon/pseuds/Nuleon
Summary: It’s an avengers twitter fic because those are The Best
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Theo Bell/Loki
Comments: 36
Kudos: 229





	1. Peter Parker

**Look at all those chickens @parkershots**

and suddenly im twitter famous

**> neddy @gitc **

you act as if you haven’t been famous for months bc of your photos

**> > unimportant @dontmindme **

all I want to know is how you took those photos??? like those are impossible shots and I’m so confused

**> >> Look at all those chickens @parkershots **

thats a secret I’ll never tell ;)

—————————————————————————————————————

**b e t e r @pbp**

i hate it here it is the worst experience i crave the sweet nectar of death

**> Michelle @inthiseconemy **

we have been at school for an hour and a half

**> > b e t e r @pbp **

but im in algebra :((((

**> >> Michelle @inthiseconemy **

you could sleep through a whole year of algebra and still have above average grades easily

**> >>> b e t e r @pbp **

i can’t sleep through algebra!!! I may find it boring but the new teacher seems excited

**> >>>> Michelle @inthiseconemy **

I think you can manage for the rest of the day.

**> >>>>> b e t e r @pbp **

yea I can do that

—————————————————————————————————————

**oh no a spider @spiderhyphenman**

after many arguments with a Mr. **@iamironman** , i have been granted the pleasure of having a twitter account !!! I don’t know ask me stuff :D _**#askspidey**_

> **run @boyrun**

 _ **#askspidey**_ are you actually Spider-Man?

**> > Tony Stark @iamironman **

unfortunately.

**> >> oh no a spider @spiderhypenman **

that’s mean :’(

**> >>> The Black Widow @black.widow **

And suddenly I’m committing a murder

**run @boyrun**

well this got a bit out of hand


	2. The Intern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tHe wOrLd fInDs oUt @pArKeRsHoTs iS aN iNtErN aT s.I

**Look at all those chickens @parkershots**

**@iamironman** im gonna be a bit late not really sorry

**> this is Halloween @jackyboi**

tell me im not the only one confused as to why this random photographer is telling iron man he’s gonna be late and isn’t sorry????

**> > hello @icantbreathe**

no we’re wondering it to…

  
  


**Look at all those chickens @parkershots**

ASDFGHJK WRONG ACCOUNT ASSRFTTCEE IGNORE MY LAST TWEET

**> Tony Stark @iamironman**

I Think Not

**> > yoinks scoob @wantascoobysnack**

why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond why did tony stark respond

**> >> Look at all those chickens @parkershots**

please mr.stark just pay the thousands of people who have seen this tweet off im begging

**> >>> Tony Stark @iamironman**

no I’m gonna have fun with this one

—————————————————————————————————————

**Tony Stark @iamironman**

I would like to introduce my very own personal intern I’m not going to give away a name in case they would like to remain anonymous, which if they do I ask you respect, but even better they will be running a Interns of S.I Account  **@parkershots** (go follow it will undoubtedly be fun)

**> > im an intern now ig @parkershots**

i cant decide whether I want to curl under my bead covers and never return, or murder you first 

**> >> Pepper Potts @CEOofSI**

You do not understand the cataclysm of a pr nightmare you have just caused. 

**> >>> Tony Stark @iamironman**

oh shit

—————————————————————————————————————

**im an intern now ig @parkershots**

revenge is best served room temperature

_ [a video of Tony Stark is attached, The is billionaire standing in the middle of his lab, Pepper Potts, CEO of S.I is nodding distractedly while looking down at a Stark pad. The man is ranting about how much he appreciates all his children. Robots and real children. The person holding the camera begins giggling. The video zooms into Tony Stark’s face and with glaring resolution we can see that he is beginning to tear up. The video suddenly cuts when Tony looks directly into the camera lense, horror growing into his features] _

**> Tony Stark @iamironman**

how did you get that

**> > im an intern now ig @parkershots**

i know a guy

**> >> innocent until proven guilty @potatoguns **

;)

**> >>> im an intern now ig @parkershots**

;)

**> >>>> Tony Stark @iamironman**

Oh God.

**> >>>>> Thor @thorsday **

YES FRIEND STARK?

  
**> >>>>>> confused??? @mollypolly**

woah. what.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished Song of Achilles and now I really wanna at Greek myth characters to this story


	3. Loki explains Thor: Ragnorok

**Tony Stark @iamironman**

PointBreak? is that you?

**> Thor @thorsday**

YES IT IS I AND BANNER 

**> > I swear it's not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

and literally your whole kingdom but go of i guess

**> >> Clint @hawkseyeveiw**

Oh don’t tell me your the same Loki from 2012

**> >>> I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

im honestly quite offended 

**> >>>> Tony Stark @iamironman**

ok Thor we’ll deal with you bringing back your psycho brother later, for now explain please???

**> >>>>> Thor @thorsday**

MY BROTHER IS BETTER YOU SEE IT WASNHDDYYSHSMSI

**> >>>>>> sometimes I’m big @scotty**

oh god Loki definitely just killed Thor 

**> >>>>>>> hi @bruceb**

No I just took his phone before he says something that is probably confidential 

**> >>>>>>>> I swear it’s not my fault @lookitsloki**

I did offer to stab him tho 

**> >>>>>>>>> hi @bruceb**

Loki please don’t kill him thanks also Tony can you please get a quinjet over here

**> >>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman**

I don’t know where you are??? Also what makes you think I’ll let Loki “I take over planets for fun” onto my jet

**> >>>>>>>>>>> hi @bruceb**

Tony I might have been gone for 2 years but I know my science bro like the back of my hand which means I know you have already hacked our phones location and Loki is with Thor so if Loki tries anything, which he won’t, Thor can just take over

**> >>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman**

It was pretty boring without you and big green here

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>> hi @bruceb**

I missed you too Tony 

—————————————————————————————————————

_ The next day _

—————————————————————————————————————

**The Intern @parkershots**

okay I’ve been given clearance to talk about what happened with the aid of  **@lookoutitsloki** !!! :D

**> I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki **

hello

**> > questions @hahaimdying **

do you just expect us to believe that Loki isn't crazy anymore? 

**> >> The Intern @parkershots**

Yes.

**> >>> I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

No.

**> >>>> I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

I tried to take over your plant you have every right to be weary 

**> >>>>> The Intern @parkershots**

Loki you did none of the invasion out of your own free will and you don’t owe the public your story 

**> >>>>>> I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki **

all those who died due to my own weakness may disagree with you

  
  
  


**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

for only a year I was tortured by Thanos, a madman in every regard, I was weak and gave into his demands of stealing the tesseract. He however thought my loyalties may waver so he used the mind stone on me. I suppose the rest is history 

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

throwback to 4 years ago I got impaled we all, me included, thought I died plot twist I didn’t die I honestly never seem to be able to. Anyway I saw an opportunity went back to Asgard kickEd Odin into one of Earth’s nursing homes and went masquerading as the All-father for the next 4 years 

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

so about 2 months ago Thor shows up on Asgard and I’m like ‘oh shit’ he finds out that I’m actually not dead and we go to Earth to get Odin. Well opps Odin is dying and in Norway. So Thor and I go to Norway and there’s Odin. We talk and he tells us that he forgot to tell us that we have a murderous older halfsister who he imprisoned once he couldn’t control her

|

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

honestly pretty on brand for him. Anyway it turns out that our halfsister, Hela, has been imprisoned for longer than Thor's been alive, and again she’s the oldest so she actually has claim to the throne and oh yeah when Odin dies she can escape her prison. and then Odin died. 

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

so then Hela shows up and Thor and I get ready to fight her and I’m thinking ‘are we sure I’m the adopted one I mean-‘ and then Hela destroys Mjulner so for the second time that day I’m thinking ‘oh shit’. And then we fight while traveling through the bifrost. I end up on Sakkar, met this guy named The Grandmaster, looked a lot like Jeff Goldblum tbh

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

so I’m there for a few weeks and I’m in a high up position and who shows up but Thor, and let me tell you, he is nothing without that hammer. So he gets turned into a fighter and has to fight in gladiator style fights and guess who is The Grandmasters star fighter? You guessed it! The hulk. So hulk and Thor fight. Thor loses. We find a Valkyrie??? Thought they were all dead but whatever

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

we start a revolution on Sakkar. Thor abandons me on Sakkar, there’s sexual tension between Thor and the Valkyrie, I lead the revolution out of Sakkar and to Asgard to fight Hela, Hela kills all of Asgard’s warriors and Thor’s friends expect Sif, no idea where she is these days. And Hela and Thor fight, Thor ends up looking more like Odin after said fight. I set Asgard on fire. And all Asgard’s surviving people plus the people from the revolution get out of there

**> The Intern @parkershots**

Thor said he left you there because you tried to trick him again

**> I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

tell Thor that I will actually stab him if he doesn’t put his brain to some other use

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

Thanos shows up, I die, meet Hela in Helheim and have a nice conversation about how absolutely amazing of a father Odin was, she send me back to the land of the living as long as I promise to visit here once in a while and also Thanos has been harassing her for centuries so she gives me some of her power so once I pull a Frankenstein I have like even more power, so I kill Thanos 

**> The Intern @parkershots**

wait Thor said he didn’t know about that part about you meeting Hela and you haveing more power 

**> > I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

;)

**|**

**I swear it’s not my fault @lookoutitsloki**

okay so we land on Earth and here we are

  
  


**> do I suddenly stan Loki? @heiscute**

I swear every time I go onto avengers twitter I’m just left feeling: w h a t

**> > spicy spiders @spidermanstan**

Highlights of that:

Loki knows Gen-z slang somehow??

Hes also really cute and he wasn’t at fault for NY so we can stan hiM  


He burned down Asgard??? arson is always a plus

sibling bonding 🥰

brUCE BANNER IS BACK??? HE WAS THE BIGGEST CRYPTID HE EVEN GOT A BUZZFEED UNKOWN EPISODE WHat Shane was right it really was aliens 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a second update in one day I must be really sad


	4. when you forget there are other hero’s besides Spider-Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there??? are??? other??? marvel??? characters???

**Tony Stark @iamironman**

you know when I agreed to being a superhero I didn’t think the world would possibly be ending once a week

**Captain America @Steverogers**

rt 

**Brucie @bruceb**

rt

**The Black Widow @black.widow**

rt

**Clint @hawkseyeview**

rt

**Thor @thorsday**

rt

**War Machine @jamesrhodes**

rt

**im Hermione Granger @thescarlettwitch**

rt

**oh no a spider @spiderhyphenman**

rt

**Cawcaw @thefalcon**

rt

**20/20 @vizzion**

rt

**✨💫🌸🦄🌈 @deadpoolbaby**

rt

**I’m catholic @daredevil**

rt

**> Emily @uwu**

since when have the other Avengers had Twitter????

**> > Cawcaw @thefalcon**

oh we’ve had it the whole time we just actually do our jobs and don’t tweet during missions and meetings with shield or the president-

**> >> Tony Stark @iamironman**

okay you can’t blame me for the last one, he was being blatantly homophobic and I’m not will to pretend to care about a man like that.

**> >>> Captain America @steverogers **

That’s fair but seriously Fury keeps yelling at me to get you to do the paperwork and it’s making me very stressed

  
  
  
  


**Trump In A Ditch 2020 @hahahahaha**

Captain America saying he doesn’t support the American President is everything I didn’t know I needed 

  
  
  


**Oh- oh no @thatsunfortunate**

since when has Deadpool had twitter????

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is really short and I’m sorry I’m just kinda busy and I wanted to get this out since I didn’t update yesterday either and also I forgot that Peter Parker and Loki aren’t the only people in the universe (???since when tho???) so I need to add others characters
> 
> Also I really wanna do a Q&A episode so just comment question and who the question is for thanksss


	5. Steven Rogers outs @parkershots as Peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ ( u w u ) ~  
>  / \
> 
> ^me waltzing away from my enemies

**oh no a spider @spiderhypenman**

good news guys!!! I have convinced The Avengers to do a Q&A so ask your questions with the hashtag  **_#asktheavengers_ ** and remember to @ who you would like to ask

**Stan The Scarlett @welovewanda**

**@thescarlettwitch** **_#asktheavengers_ ** are the Hawkwitch rumors true???? 

**> I’m Hermione Granger @thescarlettwitch**

**@welovewanda** this is actually something I’ve wanted to address for a while, but in short; No. Hawkeye aka Clint Barton and I, are in no way in any type of romantic relationship. If anything he is more like a father figure to me, as he was to my dearly departed twin Peitro. 

**> > vroom @quicksonic**

stop telling people I’m dead bitch

**hi im alan @itsbrittneybitch**

**@bruceb** **_#asktheavengers_ ** why??? we’re?? you??? in??? space???

**> brucie @bruceb**

**@itsbrittneybitch** oh um well you see technically that’s not my fault 

**> > call me nat and you go splat @black.widow**

Technically it is.

**> >> brucie @bruceb**

I wasn’t in the right state of mind.

**> >>> call me nat and your go splat @black.widow**

You were hulked out you mean.

**> hi im allan @itsbrittneybitch**

**@black.widow @bruceb** wait the hulk is the one that got you to space???

**> > brucie @bruceb**

**@itsbrittneybitch** oh yeah, well basically I hated myself so much that I guess those feelings carried into the Other guy and even he felt like a burden to the others so after we beat Ultron, the other guys stole a quinjet.

**> >> brucie @bruceb **

I didn’t want to leave but at that point I had no control over what he was doing. I ended up flying into a portal to Sakkar and I was the hulk for like 2 years straight until Thor and Loki came and got me out of there 

**> Tony Stark @iamironman**

Bruce are you okay?

**> > brucie @bruceb**

ha no

**> hiya @dolalrbills**

hold up how does the Hulk know how to drive a quinjet?

**> > Cawcaw @thefalcon**

That is a fine question  **@bruceb** care to answer it because now I’m wondering if you somehow taught the hulk to fly

**> brucie @bruceb**

**@dolalrbills** I actually- I don’t know. I didn’t teach him, seeing as I don’t know how to fly a quinjet. how does he know how to fly???? 

  
  


**dora is a @massmurderer**

**@steverogers** **_#asktheavengers_ ** what’s your opinion on  **@parkershots**

**> Captain America @steverogers**

Peter is a great kid! If anything a bit too much like Tony.

**> > Tony Stark @iamironman**

Cap you absolute fucking moron I swear to Bucky Barnes I’m going to kill you.

**> >> Captain Moronic @steverogers **

Ah Frick. 


	6. Theo is here and let’s give him three cheers

**call me sweaty @thatgymteacher**

ok so, we know that Captain America accidentally let it slip that parkershots name is Peter.

**|**

**call me sweaty @thatgymteacher**

now, I’ve done some digging, looked though who the Avengers follow and Tony Stark follows 3 random teenagers

**|**

**call me sweaty @thatgymteacher**

we have seen two of the teenagers interact with Peter, and the other teens name is Peter Parker

**|**

**call me sweaty @thatgymteacher**

there for  **@parkershots** is Peter Parker, 15 yr old nerd who is unreasonably cute 

  
  
  


**simp💚 @lookoutitsloki**

ASDFGH;JKL HES HERE 

[ [photo] ](https://docs.google.com/document/d/12gJ5whtEKPvhC8AfJPdtfjxoSU7eOrEBkO60hZrBznI/edit)

**hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

if you don’t mind me asking,,, who is that?

**> > simp💚 @lookoutitsloki**

its thEO

**|**

**tEa aNd bIsCuiTs @booksandstuff**

im Theo

**|**

**tEa aNd bIsCuiTs @booksandstuff**

im older than captain america yet I look younger than him 

  
  


**Captain Moronic @steverogers**

Really, kid? When were you born then?

  
  


**tEa aNd bIsCuiTs @booksandstuff**

February 6th 1805

  
  


**conspiracy? @morelikeparinoia**

Theo…. Bell?

  
  


**tEa aNd bIsCuiTs @booksnadstuff**

yeah how’d you know?

  
  


**Hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

HOLY SHIT LOKI YOUR DATING A SERIAL KILLER???

  
  


**simp💚 @lookoutitsloki**

that would be hot 

  
  


**tEa aNd bIsCuiTs @booksandstuff**

who said we’re dating???

  
  


**Michelle @inthiseconomy**

*you’re

  
  
  
  


**Hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

well in 1823 London there was a serial murder case, about 40+ people were killed in all, the strangest part was that none of the bodies were decaying, the only thing that clarified them as dead was the fact that they weren’t breathing 

**|**

**Hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

now everyone thinks that Theo Bell did it because he was always seen at the crime scenes, his landlady, Mrs. Elenor Sharp, was one of the deaths, and he was reportedly seen “raving” on top of one of the trains that was carrying the bodies to a cemetery 

**|**

**Hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

witnesses say he fell off of the train car and Bell’s body was never found but, after that day the murders stopped. Another popular theory is that Bell had an accomplice, reportedly he was seen around London with a young man that seemed “upper-class” although this man remained unknown, the upper-class man was never seen after the train car incident 

**|**

**Hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

some speculate that the upper-class man killed Theo by pushing him off the train car then ran although no high profile families reported any missing male family members. Others even think that upper-class man and Theo were together because Bell was previously charged with “homosexuality” (fuck you ninetenth century London)

**|**

**Hi I’m Peter @parkershots**

so that’s the case of the living dead 

  
  


**tEa aNd dëåth @booksandstuff**

I- whatggsusuajkHhuKjJiiI

  
  


**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

sorry about that Theo can’t breathe right now because of how hard he’s laughing 

  
  


**Michelle @inthiseconomy**

well according to your bf’s reaction that theory is false 

  
  


**tEa aNd dëåth @booksandstuff**

not dateiwnqb abhj 

  
  


**neddy @gitc**

I thought you said he was laughing? also how can I tell what that says???

  
  


**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

im reading out the tweets to him

**|**

**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

what actually happened was one of my friends from Asgard was exiled, Odin took her magic as well so she should have been dead, couple years later I find out that she’s working as a fortune teller and calling herself “The Enchantress” and the way she’s been surviving was by taking the life force of human, leaving the bodies in their “living dead” state

  
  


**Thor @thorsday**

Amora….?

  
  


**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

yes actually why

  
  


**Thor @thorsday**

I thought you two dated?

  
  


**tEa aNd dëåth @booksandstuff**

lmao yea they definitely did

  
  


**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

Theo shut up, no Amora and I did not date

  
  


**Thor @thorsday**

But I thought you…..?

  
  


**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

I????

  
  


**Thor @thorsday**

lost your jomfrudom?

  
  


**mama I’m in love with a criminal~ @lookoutitsloki**

oh my god Thor shut up shut up shut up Theo come on you haven’t had Wendy’s yet 

  
  


**tEa aNd dëåth @booksandstuff**

ah okay then 

  
  
  


**Tomatos @banthem**

AHSKSKSSKSK ACCORDING TO GOOGLE TRANSLATE JOMFRUDOM MEANS VIRGINITY ABAHAHAHHAHA

  
  


**can’t stop @wontstop**

THOR GIVING LOKI THE SEX TALK ASHSHAHWNOOMG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this may be one of the longer ones idk anyway I really wanted to integrate theo into this bc he’s my favorite character from where mischief lies and I’ve never seen him in a Twitter fic sooo


	7. stUCkY IS CANNon????

**🅱️eter @parkershots**

what the fawk 🤠

  
  


**neddy @gitc**

????

  
  


🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

Mr. Stark is having a breakdown 

  
  


**neddy @gitc**

I’ll rephrase, what???

  
  


**🅱️eter @parkershots**

I told him that Harry was my childhood best friend????

  
  


**neddy @gitc**

Dude your life has always been crazy even before the Oscorp field trip

**neddy @gitc**

speaking of which, does Harry even know about Oscorp?

  
  


🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

stop talking about Oscorp!! and no Harry doesn’t know about That Event 

  
  


**harripottah 😎 @harry.osborn**

what happened at Oscorp

  
  


**🅱️eter @parkershots**

hi Harry

  
  


**neddy @gitc**

Harry! how ya doing 

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

Harrison!!!!?

  
  


**harripottah😎 @harry.osborn**

eye- 

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

im soRRY! is it “HARRY” because I thought that I was the FIRST BILLIONAIRE Peter had met but I fiND OUT THAT HIM AND yoU WERE CHILDHOOD BESTFRIENDS???? 

  
  


🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

you’re upset because,,, your not,,, the first,,, billionaire,,,, I’ve met?

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

yeS!!! it is an important life milestone and I waSNT THERE FOR IT 

  
  


**Pepper Potts @CEOofSI**

Tony, stop fighting with teenagers on Twitter. You were supposed to be at this meeting 10 minutes ago. 

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

Shit yeah okay pep I’m coming

  
  


**harripottah😎 @harry.osborn**

okay but what happened at Oscorp???

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

Shut up Harrison. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Captain America @steverogers**

why did I just see Loki and Theo make out then say “No Homo” and then walk away??? That is very Homo and I am Confused 

  
  


**Gracie @pawprings**

Do you not support the LGBTQ+ community?

  
  


**Captain America @steverogers**

Wait, does the public not know? Let me check my Wikipedia page. 

**Bucket @barneybarnes**

just looking at that sentence made me want to throw up, obviously they don’t know

**Captain America @steverogers**

huh 

**Captain America @steverogers**

Well, do you really think that I would start a war with my closest friends, family even, for a man that’s relationship to me was nothing more than platonic? No, Buck and I are dating, I’m gay and Bucky is pan, in other words, Fuck Historians.

  
  
  
  


**Trending on Twitter**

**#Stucky**

**#WhathappenedatOscorp**

**#TonytheToddler**

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going though a band bout of writer block so this Twitter fit is all I really feel like I can get out, sorry :( 
> 
> Anyway, marvel really trying to tell me that Steve and Bucky were SOLEly platonic??? Have you watched any of the Captain America movies??? I may be stupid but I’m not an idiot.
> 
> Also if your wondering why Loki talks like a teenager and not in the ye’ olde English like Thor, it’s because I have this head cannon that during the four years Loki was ruling Asgard he learned more about Earth and got Netflix and YouTube and all that stuff and picked it up there.


	8. rip wakanda

🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

omg cowboys are real

  
  


**toby stank suxs!!!1!!11! @potatoguns**

peter I think you’re overreacting

  
  


🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

y0U NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE A C0w b0y 

  
  


**toby stank suxs!!!1!!11! @potatoguns**

i'm from Tennessee that doesn’t automatically make me a cowboy

  
  


🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

you have a coUNTRY ACCENT what other explanation could there be????

  
  


**toby stank suxs!!!1!!11! @potatoguns**

that I’m from the south??

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

**@parkershots** wait you didn’t know that keener is a cowboy

  
  


**toby stank suxs!!!1!!11! @potatoguns**

im not a cowboy

  
  


🅱️ **eter @parkershots**

no, I didn’t. Harley just noticed that I knew you and dmed me the video but we facetimed for the first time earlier and like??? I wasn’t expecting a country accent 

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

Huh. All right well you and the cowboy can go destroy the world or whatever 

  
  


**toby stank suxs!!!1!!11! @potatoguns**

not a cowboy 

  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

With a name like that you are 

  
  


**im a snek @lookoutitsloki**

**@iamironman** can I come and destroy the world too 

  
  


✌️🤪🔪  **@booksandstuff**

Loki no

  
  


**im a snek @lookoutitsloki**

Loki yes

  
  


**✌️🤪🔪 @booksandstuff**

shit he turned into a bird and flew away 

  
  


**———————————————————————————————————**

  
  


**Furries Unite @king.t’challa**

**@iamironman** Stark, please, come get your children. 

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

Please tell me their not in Wakanda

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

wait what the fuck is up with our names

  
  


**Hawk butt @hawkseyeview**

that’s what happens when you let 3 geniuses and the Norse god of chaos run free in the most technologically advanced country in the world

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

I would bite back but I see the gremlins got your name as well 

  
  


**Hawk butt @hawkseyeview**

what? No. I did that voluntarily

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

Why would you do that

  
  


**Furries United** **@king.t’challa**

Can we stop talking about our names and figure out a way to round up Stark’s children?

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

Hey one of those kids is your sister

  
  


**Furries United @king.t’challa**

Yes, but Shuri is also your daughter 

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

What? No she isn’t

  
  


**Hawk butt @hawkseyeview**

sorry stark but the kings right. you kinda have a tendency to adopt children in life threatening situations 

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

That is not true

  
  


**Pepper the all powerful @CEOofSI**

Really?

  
  


**Hawk butt @hawkseyeview**

oh shit stark you're in for it now

  
  


**Pepper the all powerful @CEOofSI**

Let’s start off with 2013, the mandarin incident. The whole world believed you to be dead after a bomb exploded in our house in Miami, if I might add, after you goaded terrorists into attacking. But where were you? In Tennessee, adopting 11 year old Harley Keener. 

  
  


**Pepper the all powerful @CEOofSI**

Skip to 2016, during the height of the “Civil War”. Your recruit Spider-Man, and in the process meet the teenage wonder, 14 year old Peter Parker. About a week after the airport battle, the whole world thinks you're dead, again. 

  
  


**Pepper the all powerful @CEOofSI**

And only a couple months ago, we were met with the remaining Asguardians, which included 1057 years old but 19 looking Loki, god of mischief, warning us that there may be a threat who wanted to kill half the universe. But what did you do besides decide to adopt Loki, before we even knew what really happened in 2012 or that Thanos really was gone.

  
  
  


**Pepper the all powerful @CEOofSI**

Of course I’m not blaming our children for any of this, I just wish you could save yourself before you add to our family. 

  
  


**We bow to Pepper Potts @bunniesaredeath**

I’m love Pepper Potts

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

Pepper, did you just cause a PR stunt?

  
  


**PR team of SI @SI.PR.team**

we think it’s warranted 

  
  


**Furries United @king.t’challa**

I hate to interrupt, but Stark the children are now having “mmm whatcha say” blast from the speakers any time some trips, which is surprisingly often, “yeet” anytime someone throws something, and mint chocolate ice cream seems to be falling from the skies every 15 minutes.

  
  


**Toeny Stank @iamironman**

Oh my god I’ll be right there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghjkl I’m so so so sorry
> 
> It’s been like over a month- 
> 
> My laptop crashed and I took it to get fixed but everything was somehow wiped ahahahahahahahahahah so I tried to write a kinda long chapter to make up for it sorry


	9. health class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way I update this thing like once a month at best 💀

**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


holy shiustshsjdkdkf

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


fuck a random star shaped portal just opened in my room

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


why do these dimension-hoping people hate me :(((

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


nvm apparently their dimensions version of me nearly drove one of their friends to suicide 

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


shouldnt have tweeted that asdfghjkl

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


no why do all funky lesbians hate me :((

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


ahnoko the lesbian found out that I'm live tweeting thisajshdidkfkif

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  


**lost and found @lookoutitsloki**

  


AKSHDIDDIDK THE BABY AVENEGERS ARE KIDNAPPING AHHSMSJ

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  
  


**x**

  
  


**incorrect avengers quotes @incorraven**

  


**_@theavengers_ ** If you don't mind me asking, are any of you queer?

  


**> Pepper Potts @CEOofSI**

  


**@iamironman** This one is okay 

  
  


** > Tony Stark @iamironman**

  


oh awesome

  
  
  


**Tony Stark @iamironman**

  


I am pansexual, cisgender, and in a relationship with the fabulous, Pepper Potts

  


**| incorrect avengers quotes @inco…**

**|**

**| @the avengers** If you don't mind m...

**\-------------------------------------------**

  


**|**

  


**spooder @spiderhyphenman**

  


im a bisexual trans guy :D

  


**|**

  


**Captain America @steverogers**

  


im to, am a bisexual trans guy

  


**|**

  


**bucky @jbarnes**

  


gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygay

  


**|**

  


**cli(n)t @hawkseyeveiw**

  


Ace, aro, and cis 

  


**|**

  


**widow @blackwidow**

  


leabian and ace

  


**|**

  


**cawcaw @thefalcon**

  


pan and cis

  


**|**

  


**20/21 @thevision**

  


since I am technically a synthetic being, I do not believe I experience gender and attraction the same way others do, but i think the terms "Agender" and "Pansexual" fit me best

  


**|**

  


**20/21 @thevision**

  


however I am in a relationship with  **@scarletthands**

  


**|**

  


**eMotiOnaL raNgE oF a teAspo0n @scarletthands**

  


<3 and I'm bi and cis 

  


**|**

  


**Barry Allen @speedyson**

  


my superpower is literally speed ofc I'm gay

  


**|**

  


**Thor :D @thorsday**

  


In Asgard we don't have a binary, it is common for children to tell their peers and relatives what their preferred pronouns are before they reach their first maturity 

  


**|**

  


**Thor :D @thorsday**

  


But I am what you would call cisgender and pansexual. I am also in a relationship but i do not know if my partner would like me to say their name 

  


**|**

  


**brucie @bruceb**

  


It's okay Thor, I am cisgender and gay and in a relationship with Thor

  
  
  


**x**

  


**🅱️eter @parkershots**

  


ASDFGHJKL HARLEY LOOKS JUST LIKE THE KID FROM INSIDIOUS 

  


**> Country Roads~ @potatoguns**

  


sHUT YOUR THE FUCK UP PARKER YOU AND THAT FJCKING ELF FROM ONWARD ARE INDENTICAL 

  


**> > 🅱️eter @parkershots**

  


AKS8KDKWSI DID YOU JUST SAY I LOOK LIKE AN ANIMATED DISNEY CHARACTER ???

  


**> >> Country Roads~ @potatoguns**

  


WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DOA BOUT IT CITY BOY

  


**> >>> 🅱️eter @parkershots**

  


I DONT KNOW??? 

  


**> >>>> Country Roads~ @potato guns**

  


WTF PARKER AKDJFJGIFKDK

  


**> >>>>> 🅱️eter @parkershots**

  


IM SORRY AM I EXPECTED TO BE ABLE TO THINK AHEAD ??? I LIVE ON PURE INSTINCT 

  
  


**x**

  
  


**is there anything better than pussy @princessofwakanda**

  


who was gonna tell me that embryos look like muppets

  


**> king catboy @king.tchalla**

  


Shuri, please.

  
  


**x**

  
  


**👉⛸🤪 @booksandstuff**

  


has anyone seen loki?

  


**> emyemyemyemy @cantcatchme**

  


wtf does your name mean-

  


**> > cli(n)t @hawkseyeveiw **

  


what did you lose your boyfriend?

  


**|**

  


**👉⛸🤪 @booksandstuff**

  


3 things, 1) we're not dating, 2) yes

  


**|**

  


**cli(n)t @hawkseyeveiw**

  


and?

  


**|**

  


**👉⛸🤪 @booksandstuff**

  


and what?

  


**|**

  


**cli(n)t @hawkseyeview**

  


you said 3 things yet you only listed 2

  


**|**

  


**👉⛸🤪 @booksandstuff**

  


no i didnt stupid

  


**|**

  


**cli(n)t @hawkseyeveiw**

  


im literally about to cry wtf

  
  
  


**x**

  
  


**Country Roads~ @potatoguns**

  


does the g in g-spot stand for gynecologist

  


**> Tony Stark @iamironman**

  


kid what the fuck

  
  
  


  


**x**

  
  
  


**dimension hoping 😗✌ @lookoutitsloki**

  


what if I told y'all that the greek gods exist too

  


**_[this tweet has been deleted]_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the embryo and g-spot thing were actual things I asked in my 8th grade health class-


	10. peter is a mc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: man I write about loki alot maybe i should try writeing about him less
> 
> me: writes loki getting kidnapped by the YA and then just doesn't address it
> 
> me: 🤡

  
  
  


**gay @joeymyhomie**

quick everyone, what's your theme song

**|**

**tHunDeR anD liGhtiNg @thorsday**

the young spider has told me that my theme song is "literally any song by imagine dragons" 

**|**

**distopia @bucky.barnes**

oh 100% womanizer by britney spears 

**|**

**Captain America @steverogers**

if one more person @'s me saying the national anthem I will quit the avengers again

**|**

**neddy @gitc**

I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing but the fact that you can say "AGAIN" ASDFJGLHLGJFJ

**|**

**Michelle @inthiseconemy**

I'd say michelle by sir chole but I think that's a bit on the nose 

**|**

**~daddy issues~ @harry.oborn**

**@parkershots** i know what yours is

**|**

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

what?

**|**

**~daddy issues~ @harry.osborn**

peanut butter jelly time

**|**

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

askskajdjkf I havent thought of that song in forever why????

**|**

**~daddy issues~ @harry.osborn**

bc it's short, irritating, and repetitive 

**|**

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

haRRISON-

  
  
  


**x**

  
  
  


**Dr. Hulk @bruceb**

waS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TRUMP WON???

**|**

**distopia @bucky.barnes**

what do you mean?

**|**

**Tony Slarck @iamironman**

I CANNOT BREATHE OH MY GOD BRUCIE

**|**

**Dr. Hulk @bruceb**

Tony this is bullying 

**|**

**distopia @bucky.barnes**

I'm still confused what's goin on

**|**

**Dr. Hulk @bruceb**

Tony no

**|**

**Tony Slarck @iamironman**

when bruce left it was 2015, right, everyone thought trump would lose the presidency

**|**

**Tony Slarck @iamironman**

but obviously, he didnt 

**|**

**Dr. Hulk @bruceb**

no one told me bernie wasn't the president :(((

  
  
  


**x**

  
  
  


**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

**@potatoguns** i feel like Harley should be short for something 

**liam pain @potatoguns**

wdym 

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

like the way harry is short for Harrison I think harley should be short for something to

**> ~daddy issues~ @hary.osborn**

thank u for bringing up my trauma 🥰

**> > eat the r*ch @parkershots**

np XOXO  **🥰💞**

**liam pain @potatoguns**

what would Harley even be short for???

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

Harrelson 

**> ~daddy issues~ @harry.osborn**

why do I still feel like this is an insult directed at me

**> > eat the r*ch @parkershots**

because your a pussy

**Captain America @steverogers**

Language!

**Flash @neverbeenfaster**

Yeah Parker!! You kiss your mother with that mouth?

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

my mom is dead Eugene 

  
  
  
  


**x**

  
  
  


**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

3rd times the charm 🥰💞❤✨🙈🧚‍♀️💖

**|**

**nedward @gitc**

peter I'm begging what does this mean

**|**

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

well yknow first there was my dad in that plane crash when I was 4

**|**

**nedward @gitc**

omg peter no

**|**

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

and then uncle ben when I was 14

**|**

**nedward @gitc**

jesus pls stop this madness 

**|**

**eat the r*ch @parkershots**

can't lose 3 parental figures in a row

**|**

**unicorns & happiness🧚‍♀️💖 @deep.pools**

oh peter, you sweet summer child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while writing this chapter I realized that bruce left in 2015, before trump's presidency, and therefore, in this theoretical universe where trump exists and becomes president, bruce wouldn't know about, and I thought that was kinda funny
> 
> and also literally these conversations are based off of conversations I have with myself in my head-

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t really have an update schedule, or a schedule for anything in general, so updates Will Not be consistent. This is just something to write for when I don’t wanna do something with a huge plot line or anything 🙃👍


End file.
